The Celebrity Condition

A little (or should I say a lot of?) Jack Nicholson for you

He's got a paunch and he's now 70, but Jack Nicholson is still a lady-killer [Daily Mail]

Andy Garcia bikini photos

OK, really he's just in trunks. Andy Garcia hanging out, paunch, back hair and all, in what I assume is Cannes with Don Cheadle (no paunch, no back hair).

Celebrity Guess Who? [Just Jared]

Femalefirst Roundup

Muhammed Ali's daughter Khaliah says her weight issues stem from abuse by her uncle [FF]
Joe Cocker says drugs and alcohol hurt him. No duh. [FF]
Orlando Bloom talks about his broken back [FF]
Bo Diddly is recovering from his stroke [FF]
Jenna Fischer from The Office breaks her back! [FF]
Jerry Falwell ate himself to death, according to Larry Flynt [FF]
Milla Jovovich is eating for two [FF] 
ZZ Top tour cancelled due to ear problem [FF]

Bryce Dallas Howard's baby weight

Bryce Dallas Howard, Spider-Man 3 actress and daughter of director Ron Howard, gave birth to her son Theo in February 2007. That's not much time to shed the baby weight before having to go out and promote the film. Yes, she looks big but it's only been two and a half months so let's give the girl a break. She's still beautiful. I think it's funny that they cast a blonde to play a redhead (kirsten Dunst playing Mary Jane) and a redhead to play a blonde (Bryce Dallas Howard playing Gwen Stacy).

Oh gosh, look at Topher Grace. Just look at him! He's so cute it's criminal. SIGH ...

Spider-Man 3 Cast @ TRL [Just Jared]

Kate Bosworth looks better

The skeleton chest is gone! Kate Bosworth has been vacationing in Hawaii with a group of friends including her boyfriend James Rousseau and it looks like she's gained some much needed weight. She's still tiny, but no longer emaciated. Good for her. See more pictures at the link below.

Kate Bosworth is a Bikini Babe [Just Jared]

Charlotte Church is still on the beach

Poor girl. She probably doesn't realize she's being photographed while she's trying to have a nice holiday and getting a sunburn. I know some people have requested no more Charlotte Church pictures, but it is my duty to show you these, so please avert your eyes if you are not feeling strong.

Charlotte Church: Caption Me! [Just Jared]

What's wrong with this picture?

Well, where should I begin? Terminator II actor Edward Furlong is A) overweight, B) under-groomed and C) smoking a cigarette in front of his new baby. And is that a D) beer he's drinking?? WAIT. I found another picture that's almost worse ...

Hasta La Vista, Handsome [Mollygood]

Quickidy Linkidy

Ryan O'Neil takes his tennis game very, very, seriously [x17online]
I didn't even know Jennifer "Yoga Body" Aniston smoked! [Faded Youth]
Robbie Williams checks out of rehab [Celebrity Nation]
Eddie Van Halen checks IN to rehab [TMZ]
Carmen Electra's diet pill contract hasn't run out yet [Hollywood Tuna]
Anne Hathaway doesn't care if she's gained five pounds [Celebrity Nation]

What have you done with Salma Hayek?

Girl is looking hyoooge. Is this for a film role? Is she pregnant? What's up? More pictures at the link below.

Salma Hayek is Frightening [IDLYITW]

Jared Leto's before and afters

Jared Leto gained 60 pounds for his role in Chapter 27, developed gout, started wearing Crocs, and then lost the weight again to become the scuzzy, eye-liner-wearing punk rocker we now know and love. Now don't anyone get all freaked out about his after shot. He's not anorexic, he's just doing a "stomach vacuum" or whatever it is you yoginis call it. I think he should publish "The Jared Leto Diet Plan". I'd buy it.

Don't Act Like You Don't Want It [Dlisted]

Al Gore is bigger than life

His documentary An Inconvenient Truth won an Academy Award last night. So, is it just me or has Al Gore blown up like a balloon? Yikes. I remember hearing that he successfully lost weight several years ago on a low-carb diet (smart man) but it looks like all his globe-trotting to save the world has taken its toll on his ability to eat right, exercise, and maintain his weight. It looks like he's going to EAT Cameron Diaz in the photo below! Thanks for DDV for pointing out this celebrity weight gain.

Tyra Banks gets back into her Sports Illustrated swimsuit

And she invites the camera in while she consults with her stylists on how to fix the "bloops". Go Tyra.

Kirstie Alley gains it back

Looks like Kirstie Alley's bikini body didn't last. I could have told her that crash dieting on Jenny Craig wasn't a long-term fix. Step away from the carbs, Kirstie!

Kirstie Alley is really skinny [The Superficial]

Tyra Banks is sane in an insane world

Wow, Tyra Banks has the most fantastic response to the recent mean tabloid headlines about her weight gain. She went and got herself on the cover of People magazine talking about how it doesn't matter to her or her career how much she weighs. And she's posed for some gorgeous pictures showing off her curves. I love this quote: "If I had lower self-esteem I would probably be starving myself right now." Instead, she's flaunting her size and her self-esteem. Go Tyra!

Tyra Talks WEIGHT GAIN [Just Jared]

Femalefirst Roundup

Keira Knightley is sick of being called anorexic [FF]
Sienna Miller won't let directors starve her [FF]
Eva Mendes is putting on pounds in all the right places [FF]
Gisele talks about anorexia [FF]
Singer Mika is OCD about his cuppa [FF]

Femalefirst Roundup

Ahsley Olson's totally OCD [FF]
British music producer Anthony Wilson has kidney surgery [FF]
Sylvester Stallone is a binge eater! [FF]
Jennifer Love Hewitt's dog is crazy [FF]
Kylie Minogue is sick on tour [FF]
Elton John is dieting down for his 60th birthday [FF]
Paula Abdul is a drunk [FF]
Julia Roberts weight loss dress [FF]

Jessica Simpson is clumsy

Jessica Simpson took a spill while filming a Pizza Hut commerical recently. Hm, maybe the fact that she is squeezed like a sausage into that dress interfered with her ability to walk or something? Oh, the things this girl will do for a paycheck.

Jessica Simpson might be a cow [The Superficial]

Super-sized Tyra Banks

I think we probably could all see it coming, but now here's the proof. Tyra Banks is a lot bigger than she was in her Victoria Secret's days. Yes, Tyra has gained a bunch of weight, but honestly, I think she still looks good. Like a really beautiful plus-sized model.

Tyra Banks is Fat [Egotastic]

Jamie Oliver's built-in fat suit

Whoa, it's true, Jamie Oliver may not need that fat suit after all. Too busy to exercise but eating healthy foods according to his wife, the celebrity chef looks like he's packed on some pounds at a fundraising event in London recently. Like they say, never trust a skinny chef.

No need for the fat suit as Jamie piles on the pounds [Daily Mail]

A Femalefirst roundup

Jamelia's umbilical hernia [FF]
Geri Halliwell's leaky breast [FF]
Madonna's arthritis cream [FF]
Nicole's gained 10 lbs? [FF]
Mick Jagger's pricey wrinkle cream [FF]

Friday Quick Links

Tom Cruise was too fat for his wedding tux [IDLYITW]
Nicole Richie gains 5 pounds [Dlisted]
What?! Linsday Lohan is an alcoholic? [Egotastic]
Jennifer Love Hewitt is plump, not pregnant [Perez Hilton]
Katharine McPhee does Shape magazine [Faded Youth]

A Femalefirst roundup

Chest infection interferes with Lady Sovereign's performance onstage [FF]
Noel Gallagher says alcohol is worse than cocaine [FF]
Jack Black won't crash diet for a role [FF]
Scarlett Johansson learns dating drug addicts sucks [FF]
Thandie Newton got tricked into gaining weight? [FF]
Even Eva Green is self-conscious about her body. Oy, I give up. [FF]

Kate Bosworth to gain 5 or 10lbs?

Hold up there! Has Kate Bosworth finally come to her senses? Apparently after seeing this photo she's realized she needs to gain weight, and is talking to friends about protein shakes and personal trainers. I even found pictures of her EATING recently. Good for you, Kate. Keep it up.

Kate Bosworth is ‘Officially’ Skinny, not Anorexic [iFitandHealthy]

Speaking of pudgy old men ...

U2 frontman Bono was photographed on vacation in Croatia looking, well, like a 46-year-old man usually looks in a bathing suit. The Daily Mail took this opportunity to rewrite some of U2's best know hits:

Just some of his massive hits

1. Even Fatter Than The Real Thing

2. The Noshua Tree

3. Fried – In The Name Of Lard

4. Unforgettable Fry-up

5. Sundae Bloody Sundae

6. Still Haven't Found What I'm Cooking For

7. Under a Blood Red Pie

8. Two Tarts Eat As One

9. Achtung Flabby

10. Rattle and Tum

 

Even fatter than the real thing [Faded Youth]

Mariah Carey's still performing in her underwear

It's not that she's fat exactly, it's just that this isn't the best look. I'm sure Mariah sounded great in concert so it's not like people are buying tickets just to see her in hots pants. What's the harm in covering up a bit?

Mariah Carey Bikini Concert Pictures [Egotastic]

Mariah Carey is larger than life

Mariah Carey was showing off what I believe to be some weight gain as she partied in Las Vegas after a performance. Well, as long as she and her breasts are having fun.

Mimi parties Vegas style [Faded Youth]

Friday Quickies

Peter Doherty is 100% clean [Fametastic]
So why does he still need needles? [Femalefirst]
Rod Stewart to have himself snipped [Femalefirst]
Drew Barrymore won't starve herself [Gossipin]
Candice Bergen hospitalized for high blood pressure [TMZ]
Robin Williams is out of rehab too! [x17 Online]
Gouty-toe Jared Leto hated gaining 62 pounds [Us Magazine]

It's hard to be a woman Monday

Raquel Welch frowns on plastic surgery, but still has no frown lines [Femalefirst]
Tara Reid replaces her breasts [Egotastic]
Petra Nemcova admits to struggling with her weight [The Superficial]
Emma Thompson talks about the pressure to be young and thin [Daily Mail]
Britney Spears will dance away the baby weight [Femalefirst]
Kate Winslet is proud of her stretch marks [Fametastic]
Billie Piper was anorexic [Daily Mail]

Smokin' Fatties: Thursday's Quick Links

Paris Hilton and Travis Barker toke up [IDLYITW]
Liv Tyler isn't going to make herself miserable to lose the baby weight [Celebrity Nation]
Charlotte Church's latest excuse for her weight gain [Femalefirst]
Tom Cruise needs a dental hygienist [A Socialite's Life]

Jennifer Love Hewitt still a wide load

Not surprisingly, Jennifer Love Hewitt is still carrying around that extra weight she gained. Thing is, she doesn't look bad, and she really looks HAPPY. Good for you, Jennifer. She is one of those women who doesn't put on weight in her face, so she will continue to look cute unless she really packs it on.

Jennifer Love Hewitt Is No Longer A Party Of 5, She’s A Party Of 8 [Hollywood Tuna]

Britney Spears shops for a new body

Britney Spears is sick of being fat. Well, I don't blame her. She's been pregnant for about two years straight now. In preparation for finally having her daughter Jailynn, TMZ reports that she went shopping recently for new swimsuits and bikini jewelry. She plans to slim back down to her pre-pregnant state after giving birth and these new purchases will serve as motivation. Goooooood luck, Mrs. Federline.

Britney's Slim-Down Strategy [TMZ]

Stephen Dorff puffs out

Is it just me or does Stephen Dorff have a huge belly? Maybe he should lay off the Smirnoff Ice and cigarettes and take a jog up and down the beach while he's there.

Rachel & Stephen Shack Up [Just Jared]

Is Jack Osbourne packing it on again?

Jack Osbourne, son of Ozzy Osbourne and star of the MTV show "The Osbournes" was, along with his sister Kelly, a famously fat celebrity kid. Then he wised up, quit drugs and went on a health kick, dropping 50 pounds and taking up extreme sports. Well, it looks like his original enthusiasm has worn off a little bit. He's got some pudge going on for sure, but certainly not anything out of the (non-celebrity) ordinary. That's Kim Stewart in the fugly hat.

Jack Osbourne's Getting Fat Again [Dlisted]

How well is Jessica Simpson really doing?

Okay, so we know she's having troubles with her voice, and we know she finally settled her divorce with Nick Lachey. But just how well is Jessica doing with the breakup of her marriage and her new life as a single woman? Let's take a look. Here she is performing this week with her new bob haircut, dressed like a giant purple muppet. Is it just me or did those 8 lbs she lost in 2 weeks come back?

And here she is when she was still married. Note the wedding band and the glamorousness.

Oh yeah, and here she is in her infamous Dukes of Hazzard bikini, just for fun.

Happy Suri day!

Fat or Not? Vince Vaughn [Dlisted]
When a fat Heather Locklear attacks [x17online]
Beyonce leaves her plastic surgery options open [Femalefirst]
Dick Cheney to have knee surgery [MSNBC]

Lorraine Bracco spreads out

Lorraine Bracco is a stylish woman of a certain age whose age is unfortunately showing these days. She has definitely gained weight. Here is a picture of her from earlier this year, compared to a picture taken during the first season of The Sopranos. I am a huge fan of The Sopranos, and Bracco's portrayal of psychotherapist Dr. Jennifer Melfi.

February 2006 (click for larger version)	March 2000 (click for larger version)

Thursday quickies

Has Vince Vaughn slimmed down? [Popsugar]
Psycho screenwriter Joseph Stefano dies [AP]
Paris goes into the hospital, and out again [The Superficial]
Rockabilly singer Singer Gene Simmons dies [AP]
Steven Seagal porks up [TMZ]

Y-y-y-yikes! Aretha Franklin is obese

I'm sorry to do this to you on a nice Thursday morning, but it's my job. Aretha Franklin is absolutely enormous. She performed at Radio One's 25th anniversary party two weeks ago and was barely staying in her dress. This picture may scar you, but let it also serve as a warning. Obesity is a fast-growing health issue in our country and it is a serious one. Aretha looks to be over 300 lbs at least. Be careful. Eat right and exercise. Don't let yourself get to this point.

 

Here is a younger, slimmer incarnation of Aretha.

Those Straps Aren't Going to Hold!!!! [Dlisted]

Wide load at the Emmys: Jennifer Love Hewitt

Here's further proof that Jennifer Love Hewitt has gained weight recently. Those are some WIDE hips. But really, she's not looking bad at all. The girl carries it quite well.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Bigger Than Before [The Skinny Website]

Friday quickies: Mariah, Jessica, Brad and Euan

Yikes. Mariah's got some more work to do. [Perez Hilton]
Jessica Alba loses a tooth. [A Socialite's Life]
Is Angelina feeding Brad Pitt enough? [Popsugar]
Tony Blair's son is in the hospital. [Times Online]

Jennifer Connelly weight gain revisited?

I speculated earlier about whether Jennifer Connelly, my favorite lovely actress, may have put on a few pounds recently and may even be pregnant! Here she is with her husband Paul Bettany picnicking in New York City's Central Park this week. What do you think?

For reference, here is my earlier comparison:

July 2005	July 2006

Paul's Picnic in the Park [Just Jared]

Amanda Bynes looks rough

Maybe she gained weight, maybe she just ate too many carbs and is having a "puffy" day. Or maybe she had surgery on her face and her whole head is swollen. Whatever the case, the result is that Amanda Bynes does not look good. Remember when she was a cute pre-teen? I am a secure enough person to admit that sometimes I used to watch her show on Nickelodeon. Not because I am a TV-aholic who will watch anything that's on, but because it was funny. She was a funny girl.

What the Hell Happened to Amanda Bynes? [Egotastic]

Brtiney Spears misses her body

Britney Spears feels like she's been pregnant for ten years. And she kind of looks it. The poor woman, whose second child is due in September or October, has been pregnant for 18 out of the past 21 months. According to recently published quotes, this pregnancy wasn't even planned. Britney says she can't wait to get back to working out, sweating, and getting her old body back. Good luck with that, Brit.

Brit Wants Her Body Back [Ananova]

Patricia Arquette won't be pressured to lose weight

Patricia Arquette, sister of actors Rosanna and David Arquette and star of ABC's Medium, refuses to lose her baby weight. Soon after giving birth to her daughter Harlow, one of the show's producers asked her to lose the pregnancy weight she had gained. Patricia said she would rather not keep her job than be forced to lose weight. Furthermore, she points out that her character Allison DuBois is a mother of three, not "a supermodel or anorexic" and it doesn't even make sense for her to be super thin. Sensible. Logical. Principled. I always thought Patricia was a little strange. Maybe it was just because of that quickie Nicholas Cage marriage, but I now have a whole lot of respect for her. I also think she looks just fine with the baby weight.

Patricia Arquette refused to lose baby weight for role [Fametastic]

Lisa Rinna no longer in dancer shape

Wow, Lisa Rinna was so thrilled about the great shape she was in after training for "Dancing with the Stars" I was just SURE she would have kept it up. Guess not.

Gwyneth's hanging and sagging

Gwyneth Paltrow has been quoted recently talking about the effects of pregnancy on her body, and how she's working hard to get back into shape. It was also reported that she was considering plastic surgery to fix some of her post-pregnancy hanging and sagging. Here she is leaving her Pilates studio recently, and I'm sorry to say it does look like pregnancy has taken its toll, although she hasn't lost her blonde beauty by any means.

Britney Spears weight gain

Britney Spears is still feeding her unborn child junk food, even after being told by doctors to improve her diet for the health of the baby. She told People magazine she has gained 40 lbs with her second pregnancy, and is indulging of midnight snacks of "the real big" Hershey's chocolate bars. I wonder what she feeds Sean Preston?

Britney Spears is gross [WWTDD]

Charlotte Church is big

Charlotte Church is definitely "chunky". According to Perez Hilton, she plans to go on a diet. Personally, I think she looks cute, but no one likes having a double chin.

She's Bringing Chunky Back! [Perez Hilton]

Val Kilmer's blubber

This great comparison photo from TMZ says it all:

Val's Top Gun Days are Over [TMZ]

Today's news from Femalefirst

A WAG hits the gym [Femalefirst]
Uma Thurman's cigarette addiction [Femalefirst]
Courteney Cox seeks marriage help [Femalefirst]
George Clooney got fat and wanted to kill himself [Femalefirst]

Jared Leto's gout-y shoes

The 60-plus pounds he gained for his role as Mark David Chapman in "Chapter 27" was Jared Leto's explanation for the plastic clogs he was wearing recently at Chicago's Hard Rock Hotel. His diet and weight gain caused him to develop gout, a painful form of arthritis which causes toes to swell due to a buildup of uric acid crystals in the joints. Sounds painful, and I'm sure those plastic "Croc" clogs helped ease the pain.

Gout is often thought to be a disease of laziness - caused by lack of physical activity, a diet high in alcohol and rich foods and low in fruits and vegetables. This may be linked to one's metabolism of purine, an organic compound that is broken down by the body into uric acid. Eating high-purine foods such as meats and alcohol, and avoiding purine-neutralizing foods such as berries and fresh vegetables can therefore cause gout in those predisposed to it. In extreme cases, surgery may be necessary on the inflammed joint. I'm sure Jared is working hard to lose the weight and hopefully he can put this whole swollen-toe episode behind him soon.

(Jared Leto) Suffers For Art [Page Six], Gout information thanks to Wikipedia

Is Jessica a little bigger?

I'm thinking maybe it's the outfit, but you be the judge. Does she look "heftier"?

Jessica Simpson is big-boned [The Superficial]

Gwyneth might get plastic surgery?

It's been reported that Gwyneth Paltrow is having more trouble recovering from her most recent pregnancy than from her first, and that she is thinking about "doing something about it." That something is assumed to be plastic surgery, which she was overheard discussing over lunch with friends in London. She described her "rippling belly" as one of the things about her body bothering her the most, along with sore breasts from breast feeding. If that weren't bad enough, Gwyneth told her friends that her daughter Apple is unhappy to no longer be the center of attention now that her brother Moses has joined the family, and is acting jealous.

Gwyneth Paltrow complains of sibling rivalry, “rippling” belly and sore boobs  [Fametastic]

Kristy Swanson looks a bit worse for wear

I actually think she looks fine, just aging normally like the rest of us. I don't think she's had a facelift or collagen lip injections, but who knows for sure?

What the Hell Happened to Kristy Swanson [Egotastic]

Jennifer Love Hewitt gains weight and a fugly outfit

Yes, these pictures do reveal that Jennifer Love Hewitt may have put on a few pounds now that she has found love, but what I find more disturbing is that she made a conscious decision to wear what she is wearing. Was it a drunken dare? They've even got matching white undershirts!

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Hips Don’t Lie [Hollywood Tuna]

John Travolta knows he's fat

John Travolta  says he knows he's got "a love handle or two" and could never fit into his disco days costumes, but the actor claims his wife "loves the extra meat" on him and that he loves to eat. Now there's a sensible actor who is allowing himself to age gracefully.

John Travolta's fat and lovin' it [Celebrity Nation]

Kelly Clarkson needs to lose weight

Poor Kelly Clarkson. First she puts on some weight and has to wear the least flattering costume ever conceived of on tour, and now her new sponsor is demanding that she lose the weight before she can "officially" promote its product.

Kelly has been chosen to promote her own flavor of Vitamin Water, but the company, which is health and fitness-conscious, doesn't want her to represent it until she drops the pounds. Welome to your strict celebrity diet and exercise regime, Kelly. I hope it's not Janet Jackson's program.

Kelly Clarkson's vitamin water diet [Popsugar]

Bikinis don't lie: Lindsay, Nicole and Teri fill out

Look who else has gained weight: three actresses reported to be "too skinny" have turned up in bikinis looking like they gained 1-5 pounds. Let's go to the comparison!

Weight winners [Us Weekly]

Lil' Kim's prison weight gain

July 2005	July 2006

It looks like prison food was not friendly to Lil' Kim. Sentenced a year ago for lying to a grand jury about a 2001 shooting, the singer was released early for good behavior on July 3. She is notably heavier than when she entered prison, a fact the New York City tabloids were quick to point out. Maybe she can go on the Janet Jackson diet?

July 4th Means Lil' Kim Covers [Gothamist]

Has Jennifer Connelly gained weight? Is she pregnant?

	\
July 2005	July 2006

First, let me start by saying I love this woman and think she is absolutely gorgeous. I feel the same way about her husband. When she was a teenage model and I was a pre-teen model admirer, Jennifer Connelly epitomized beauty for me. Her weight has fluctuated over the years. She was heavier as a teenage actress, then left the spotlight for many years, had a child and spent a lot of time mountain climbing. When she won her Oscar for A Beautiful Mind in 2001 she was very skinny, her dress almost falling off her flattened chest. Since then she has had another child and starred in several movies. In recent photos she looks bigger; note the rounded shoulders on her usually skinny arms above. That said, I still thinks she looks fantastic. Could she be pregnant again?

Kelly Clarkson channels Christina Aguilera circa 2003

Unfortunately, concert tour attire sometimes doesn't really "work" on normal-sized people. Kelly's problem is that she is normal-sized and some